This morning, I had an appointment in Columbia and also made a quick trip to Walmart while I was out. While I was in Wally World, I noticed people looking my way and giving me the "once over". It got me thinking.... "I am dressed pretty goofy looking." It had been a rushed morning. It's also going to be a rushed and busy day and I just wanted to put on some comfy clothes and not worry about it. And, yes, I looked like quite the sight. I had on an old blue and red Marion shirt that had moth holes in it, my tie-died colored sweat pants that I had cut off right below the knees because they were getting so thread-bare. I was wearing a light blue sweatshirt and a baseball cap. AND I had no make-up on.
Now, what I was thinking about was how different my attitude is now. Years ago when I was younger I would have NEVER gone out of the house not wearing make-up. And I would have been dressed in coordinating colors and outfits. I would have never thought of letting anyone see me like that unless it was (maybe) my family.
So, as I smiled to myself, I asked myself, is it courage that I'm letting myself be seen in public like this? Going out with my head up and hoping no one says anything to me or laughs at me. Or is it confidence because I'm older now and comfortable with myself and the person I am inside? Knowing that clothes don't make the person or necessarily say what kind of person they are. Or is it just indifference because I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't care what strangers think or what judgements they might make since they don't know the real Linda Runnebaum? Or, MAYBE, it's a combination of all three...??
Whatever it is, I know that I AM happy getting to the point in my life where I am confident in my innerself and the person I have turned out to be... Even if I do dress in tie-die thread-bare sweatpants and raggy t-shirts...ha!